Sunday, 29 March 2015

Remember me?

My mom asked me yesterday if I'd been writing my blog recently, which as you all know is a no. I replied that I hadn't been inspired by anything. It was at this point that DH pointed out a crucial fact. He's been happy.

Hmmmm, a happy DH, one who doesn't come home complaining about his job everyday and suddenly I have nothing to write about? I guess I'm one of those tormented writers who needs to be miserable for inspiration. I really hope that's not the case as I have no desire to be miserable.

Anyway since its been a few months so I'll post a quick catch up. I had my surgery, it went well. Recovery was more frustrating than anything else. I felt good and wanted to do more but wasn't allowed. I have however gained around 6 lbs from sitting on my ass doing nothing and at some point I need to get back to exercise. I could regale you with the countless shows I watched on Netflix but I'll save you from that unbearable level of excitement. I bet you're getting the picture as to the lack of blog posts now.

On the bright side, the hot flushes of medically induced menopause are a thing of the past. Now I can wait for them to come back naturally later in life, the joy of having to go through it more than once in your life is only reserved for very special people. On the other side, I still have my ovaries, so I still go through PMS, just without the M. I now never know if I'm hormonal or just being a bitch. It's very confusing, I found myself staring at the scale the other day unable to answer the question, "Am I bloated today or just fat?" Well sure the answer was probably both, but that's not the point, a girl likes to know when she can blame those extra 2 lbs on water retention. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I feel better than I have in years, I'll take a bit of confusion any day!

Anyway spring is nearly here...well officially spring is here, but someone hasn't  told that Mother Nature yet because it's still freezing outside. Once it warms up we csnt get out camping and doing more exciting things, maybe I'll get my inspiration back then.

On the children front, I'll leave you with this gem I overheard from my kids bathroom the other night.

Princess: "Did you just fart while brushing your teeth?"

Diggle: "I'm multitasking."

Friday, 9 January 2015

Something I'll Never Be

I'm not skinny...hey there's a newsflash. Would I like to be thinner, yes, I won't deny that, that is why I go to weight watchers. I do however feel sorry for people who are so fixated on not gaining an ounce that they feel they have to justify if they post a picture of food. Case in point, a person I know casually, posted a picture of a burger, not a particularly big burger, it was at best, average size, there was no side of fries. She felt the need to justify that she had shared the burger with her husband. My first thought is what a sad life to only allow yourself to eat half a burger, a veggie burger at that. My second thought was that her poor husband must be malnourished unless she lets him order something extra. Fact is both of them run and workout religiously, they could afford to indulge in a whole burger when they go out to eat. Same person will post a picture of a cookie and proudly say, "I only had one bite, hubs ate the rest."  Now don't get me wrong, if you have a small appetite and can't finish a huge restaurant plateful good for you, I have those meals (occasionally) too. I bag them up and take them home to enjoy for lunch the next day though, I don't make my poor husband suffer through eating the other half and going home hungry.

Here's the thing, I will never be skinny, the best I can aim for is to fit into last years jeans when winter roles around. I'm okay with that. I don't want to be skinny and depriving myself of one of life's true joys. There are a few things in life that make some days tolerable. The smiles and hugs of your kids, sex, food, alcohol and good friends are amongst those that spring to mind immediately. 

Moving on from what we do or do not eat to people's warped version of what a good body size is, for which modern media is totally to blame. I saw this same person tweet a while back stating, "It’s not skinny jeans if you wear size 10 or higher …." Are you kidding me? Size 10 is not fat, where do you get off making someone feel bad about themselves because they are not a single digit size? It is thanks to people like you saying bitchy things like that that our daughters are suffering from eating disorders and thinking they need to starve themselves.  

I'm pretty sure that this person never reads my blog, and if they do they will know who they are and will probably unfollow and never tweet with me again. I have considered this before posting this and I came to the ultimate conclusion that I could live with that consequence, That tweet shows what is an obvious need to belittle others to make themself feel good.  I too like things in life that make me feel good and I'm done with people who irritate and annoy me.

Saturday, 3 January 2015

Things the past year has taught me

The past year was one that was an eye opener in so many different ways. I learned so much about myself, about my family, about my friends. I was lying in bed last night thinking it through and decided to share some of my thoughts with you. One of the many joys of medically induced menopause is lots of time to think while you're unable to sleep.

Here are just a few gems that crossed my mind.

  • I am a clutz and shouldn't be allowed near ice unless I have skates on. That's three trips to hospital now thanks to slips on the ice, yes one involved a lot of beer, but in general what this has taught me is I'm living in the wrong climate. Not once did I fall over on the beach sand and require hospitalization. I'm not saying I didn't fall over on the beach, there were days drinking champagne on the beach after diving...but no injuries occurred.

  • If you have a sick kid, put them on the bottom bunk of the bed. Projectile vomiting travels so much further from the top bunk. I learned this one the other night, I won't say much more about it because it wasn't pleasant, just picture scenes from the exorcist amid soft cuddly toys and cream carpets.

  • If you do buy your own birthday presents, don't short change yourself. I did. I got some much needed bras and underwear just for the kids to give me something, planning to go buy myself something nice. It never happened and it bugged me all year.  This year I may have to treat myself to something spectacular, perhaps some new socks too.

  • I shouldn't store my naked selfies in the Cloud, okay I technically didn't learn this about myself or my friends thankfully, but it was something I'm sure we all learned this past year thanks to social media. Always useful to know, but to be honest I don't store anything in the cloud and if I had naked selfies they may break the Internet in a bad way...a really really bad way. Especially after the Christmas gluttony, no one ever needs to see that, not even me. 

  • Cutting your dogs hair is hard, so much harder than a flailing kid who you can threaten into submission.  But if you cut it when the weather is cooler a bad haircut can be hidden by a doggy sweater, on the dog, not the kid, the kid will need a hat! 

  • It is possible for a 9 year old boy to eat more in a day than a 48 year old man. I seriously worry about how much grocery shopping I'm going to need to do as he becomes a teenager. Between Diggle and the Monster Dog we have no need for a garbage disposal.

  • I was enlightened to the fact that, raccoons can growl. Monster Dog still thinks she would've won that fight, I'm just saying, don't pick a fight with something bigger than you, biggest freakin raccoon ever! 

It was actually a year where I learned I could do scary things like go back to work after 10 years off. I realized sometimes the best friends are ones who leave you feeling happy after you've spent time with them. It was also a year where I learned no matter how much I plan and think I'm in control I will never know what is around the corner or which way life will take us. There is nothing you can do but hold on to the ones you love and try your best to enjoy what you can and get through the rest alive and relatively sane. (The last point is open for debate)

Monday, 29 December 2014

2015 - A new year, new possibilities

THIS, this describes my New Years plans completely! We're having a quiet one, a nice family dinner, maybe a fondue or steak and mushroom sauce. We can relax on the couch and watch a movie or some bad tv. We can cuddle the kids and pet the monster dog. Do not pity me and invite me out to a party, I am not free, I am doing nothing.

The honest truth is I am all socialed out after Christmas, so we are not going to a party or anywhere that involves being social and acting friendly.  I love Christmas, the parties, the festivities, having family over for dinner and getting together to open presents etc, but I reach a point after parties and gatherings when I am done. I'm tired of talking, I'm tired of thinking, I'm tired of eating and drinking.

I want to spend the next week mostly sitting on my couch or in my bed, with my iPad, a set of headphones in and just being alone. Sure, I will leave the house, I have a few things to do and a few places to be, but they will be necessities or things I choose to do.

So, 2015 will start off quietly, but that doesn't mean I'm not optimistic about all it holds. 2014 and 2013 were not great years, they certainly had their share of trials and tribulations. Surely our luck must turn? 2015 will be the year! Some may think this is a little strange for me to be optimistic considering I'm going in for major surgery in two weeks, but, DH has a job he is enjoying and after surgery I get to take some enforced R&R.  Once that's all done spring will be here and camping season can start. 

Just think of all the possibilities that await us, holidays, experiences, people we might meet, things we might do. Life in general, watching the kids mature that little bit more, becoming the people they are meant to be. Anniversaries, birthdays, sunsets and daydreams. What's not to look forward too?  Okay snap out of it, I'm sleep deprived and spent a good part of last night cleaning kids barff out of the carpet, 2015 can only get better.

Friday, 19 December 2014


Yeah it's Christmas again, season of love and goodwill, blah blah blah. Actually for some reason it's around this time of year I turn into the Grinch. I'm 99% done with my shopping, fighting the crowds of bad tempered shoppers may have something to do with it. Anything else that we discover we need, DH can brave the crowds for. I still have my baking to do and to prep for the big Turkey and trimmings family dinner on Christmas Eve. So, not a whole lot, what is there to be Grinchy about? Well, I'm not really sure, but I'm very easily annoyed and upset this past week, maybe it's the hormones, it's the perfect excuse so we'll blame them this year that's for sure.

The thing is, I'm lying here in bed this morning contemplating life, Diggle and Princess just had a fight over Minecraft, I talked them down. Princess is now chilling in her room watching videos while Diggle is having his 'alone time' in the living room with Christmas music blaring at full volume (sorry neighbours I know it's not even 7:30am). The monster dog is lying on my lap staring up at me like I'm better than a fillet steak and I realized how lucky I am. What have I done to deserve so much love in my life? Not only from this dog who literally pines for me each time I go out, but from my kids, from DH. I know without a doubt that I am loved, that I am treasured and that I am the single most important person in all their lives. I somedays feel like I don't deserve that level of devotion, I'm by no means the best mom or wife. I suck at housework, I don't always read and help my kids do homework, it's a stretch somedays to ensure they have clean socks to wear to school. I don't even regularly walk the dog since it's cold out there!  I mostly eat dinner without DH as he's late home, I have very little patience for arguments and listening to woes, and yet they love me.

Growing up I found it difficult to tell people, yes even my family that I loved them. It wasn't something that was tossed around on an every day basis. In my house now, it is said multiple times, every single day, to and from everyone. It is tossed out as someone is leaving for work or for school, a simple, "Have a good day, love you." It is said for no reason other than the person is standing or sitting next to you. I constantly hear, "love you, mom." being said when there is a lull in conversation. It is even thrown back in your face when there is a fight or argument, "Well I love you, so fuck you." or "Yes, sweetie, I know you don't like me, but I love you so it doesn't matter." Actually a more adequate description if I am being honest is probably a "tough, I love you, go to your room if you're going to act  like a brat."

I don't really know what point I'm trying to make here, this was just a random realization that crossed my mind. I may be a Grinch, but I'm a very lucky, very loved Grinch and I can only wish that you are all loved too and are lucky enough to know it.

Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah or happy whatever else you may celebrate.
Ps. I love you all for reading my blog.

Sunday, 16 November 2014

It's catch up time

It's time to come clean. I haven't been blogging for a while because there has been a lot going on in my life that I didn't want to talk about. First and foremost DH has been unemployed for 8 months. We didn't want to worry certain family members who had enough going on in their lives so we decided not to mention it.

In these 8 months of stress, I started working again, a temp contract, nothing exciting, but it kept us afloat. My contract ends in a week. Dh's new job starts in a week. Really good timing! 

So, what else has been going on in my life? Well, my mom is living with us for now, the kids are in grade 4, monster dog is still a monster. Oh and I am waiting to hear surgery date on when I will be having a hysterectomy. Yep, stressful times indeed. My endometriosis has been acting up again, I was pretty lucky to have many years after the twins were born where it seemed to stay dormant but alas, no more. Ontop of this I have an adenomysis, so the doctors are prepping me for surgery in January. To prep for this means they are giving me monthly injections to keep me in a medicated version of menopause. Yes, I'm going through the delightful mood swings, hot flushes and other joys that this brings. Is it starting to make sense why I haven't been around much? 

Of course I'm still a delight to live with and a constant joy to be around. At this point I'll mention that I read about a woman on this medication who killed her husband and has claimed the medication made her do it. I'm keeping that one in reserve if I need it. I'm also guessing I may weed out my true friends from those who just tolerate me. My true friends of course will be the ones who will still give me an alibi. 

Thursday, 31 July 2014

I am from

I've seen a few other "I am from..." Pieces posted, I thought I'd give a try to writing my own. I am always asked when camping here where I am from, I'm never sure, do they mean originally in reference to my accent or where in Ontario?

I am from that house on the hill, the one where you could hear the ocean waves breaking at night.
I am from a family of 6, sometimes more.
I am from sunny skies, warm weather, braais and boerewors.

I am from the mountains, hiking, sailing, lying in the sun.
I am from picking avocados, mulberrys, guavas, pawpaws and lemons out the garden.
I am from smelling the franjapani tree outside my bedroom window.

I am from the smell of the hot African earth when it rains,
The smell of the ocean when the winds blew.
I am from diving the Indian Ocean, from Raggies cave to Cathedral.
I am from the days on the beach drinking champagne in the sun.

I am from the busy hustle and bustle of the flea markets to the stark reality of being searched every time you entered a shopping centre.
I am from hearing bombs rattle your windows as they exploded in town and shedding a tear for the life we knew.
I am from long lines and chaos on Election Day, from hope and dancing, from the "rainbow nation."
I am from living behind security gates, from bars on the window.

I am from starting a new life, in a new place.
I am from finding new family, new friends.
I am from snow, ice and four seasons.

I am from being torn between two lands.
I am from knowing home is in two places, always far away.